By Lance Terry

A true story follows. Picture this. The car seemed to silently glide into the parking lot as I attacked my cousin with a barrage of questions. “Who’s that?” I asked. “How am I supposed to know?” She murmured. “You mean you don’t know everyone in your school?” I pried. “What are you, on crack?” was the rebuttal. I began to sense that a great day awaited me.

You see, I was a visitor in a school where no one but my cousin knew me. Five thousand kids, grades 10-12, that’s big. Wouldn’t you say? William Tenent High School. To me this was not a visit to an educational institution. Oh, no, this was my venture to another world.

I hesitantly got out of the car and kinda scraped my way about, trying to keep up with my cousin. After a few minutes I began to realize that no one would know I was new because, nobody knew everybody anyway. I loosened up a tad.

As I approached the end of the building (yeah, still outside) I knew what was around the corner right away. I could usually detect the scent of cigarette smoke well, and this day was no different. Yes, we were entering the smoking zone. I didn’t realize then, but this was where reality actually began for me.

I was introduced to my cousin’s friends – all girls. No complaints here. I was loving it. Your basic airhead greetings and “bullshit american smalltalk” were exchanged, and I was on another planet. Glancing around I could see all the different types of kids that I’d only seen in the high schools of the movies: punkers, breakers, gangs, sluts, plastics (by this I mean girls who spend exorbitant amounts of money trying to look half decent – only to fail), rappers, druggies, preps, etc.

Not everyone was smoking, this was just a general hangout. Most of the conversation concerned plans for the weekend. “Are you going to the dance?” was a question I was constantly asked. I found this strange, because everyone, and I mean everyone, planned to attend, not at all like the situation at home at little Randolph Union High.

Anyway, I soon found myself amongst the variety of individuals attending my cousin’s first period class. “Do you have a pass?” the teacher inquired. “No,” I returned. My cousin got me out of it. Like I said, it wasn’t as if someone would notice me. Tenent High was bigger than my hometown.

The teacher fooled around with some track & field papers for 25 minutes, while the girls talked about shoes, the guys talked about football, and I talked to myself.  Once the “teacher” began class, it was almost over. He gave up, and the bell rang. “Welcome to Tenent,” the teacher babbled as I sauntered out.

A distinctive characteristic that I noticed about the set-up at Tenent was that each classroom had windows that looked into the other classrooms. You couldn’t look outside. Also, there were doorways for each room, but no doors to go with them. Hmmmm.

On to homeroom, I was introduced to this girl whose skirt was was so short – well, use your imagination. Next on the agenda was gym. I talked to the teacher about Vermont, he asked if I lived in a shack and made maple syrup for a living. Yeah, sure.

I played volleyball, and we won 2 out of 3 games. Hooray. I noticed more plastic girls. I swear if you lit a match in the gym it’d blow up from all the hairspray lingering about. In order to qualify to be a plastic you need make-up no less than 1/4 of an inch thick, clothes tighter than skin, and hair as sturdy as a redwood tree. Not only that, but your teeth need to be yellow from smoking, or you’re out.

I then sat through an entire Spanish 3 class in which I gathered that they’re learning the same stuff I am – but I’m in Spanish 2. Oh, wait. One girl asked if I was new, but I told her I was just visiting. That was the only time someone noticed me.

Next I ate pizza and a soft pretzel. Yeah, a real soft pretzel. I was in ecstasy. Lunch was great, and so was the 2nd one I stayed for. And the 3rd. Yup, I liked it that much. It didn’t matter, I could do whatever I wanted. What were they going to do, suspend me if I got caught?

The class I entered next was called something weird, but I named it Biology. I broke out in blue spots, started sweating profusely, got dizzy, and had a daydream that the teacher of the class was Mr. Brukardt, my Bio. teacher back home – he had a test for me. I snapped out of it after the 236th question. Whew.

I was then forced to sit through the last class of the day – English. It was reading day. When the teacher saw that I had no reading material he handed me a textbook of stories I’d read for my 8th grade English class. I opted to make a paper airplane. It was perfect. The only problem was that it sorta didn’t fly – at all. It was in this class that I was introduced to Tspan, a T.V. show made by selected students from Tenent. We watched it during the last 15 minutes of class. All I have to say about Tspan is that it was the most idiotic, stupid, pointless, dumb show I ever did see. But you might have liked it.

The bell rang (Well, it wasn’t really a bell. The sound resembled that of a microwave oven when your dish is complete) and Tenent was all but a memory. The teachers, the kids, the security guards, the freedom, the candy machines in the girls bathrooms (don’t ask), the soft pretzels.

So, now I’ve given you a quite thorough description of a big city American High School. One that I think is a lot more realistic than what we at R. U. High and other small town high schools see. Most of us have no idea what a school such as Tenent is like, and probably never will. From what you now know, is this a school you would like to attend (regardless of the fact that it is in Pennsylvania)? Would you like not knowing everyone, not knowing you principal, or even seeing what he looks like, having you teachers forget you names, and getting away with skipping class? I can predict what most of you will say to these questions, but I don’t want to have to predict. Write the Advocate and tell us. Are you happy with your school? Would you be happy in a school like Tenent? inquiring minds want to know – I want to know.