By D.M. Jublowski

The Advocate is in trouble. Confidence is lacking within the office walls of the infamous and purely volunteer oriented newspaper.  Sources report that financial and literary shortcomings are placing the future of its uninhibited self expression and creativity in jeopardy.

Other insiders have speculated that strong-arming by the mafia and Tipper Gore is frightening away current and prospective advertisers.

Determined Sex and Rock Editors have been working at a dizzying pace to the prevent the newspaper’s collapse, which would deal a crushing blow of unparalleled proportion to free thinking people everywhere.

Even though the Editors have only received one letter of comment from a Mr. Howard Dean, M.D., they believe that at least thirteen people have read the Advocate. This devoted following of highly intelligent and well rounded individuals has given them hope and the will to continue.

The Advocate, dedicated to providing a forum for voicing of opinions, ideas, and small talk, say they, “Want some fuckin’ submissions.”  And if they don’t receive any they’ll be forced to, “Whoop some ass.”