By Alibaster Johnson
My question to you is: why do people take life so seriously?
There’s no way you can possibly make it out alive anyway. It’s pretty ridiculous when you look at it. We all run around in a frenzy, but where are we going? In circles, as far as I can tell. What people don’t seem to realize is that we aren’t the only ones around. There’s a whole universe out there that probably has several different types of life (three of which I think I saw on the street the other day, but I can’t be sure). The point is that we think that what we’re doing is so important, but it isn’t. It doesn’t really matter much at all. Which is why it ought to be taken lightly.
It just isn’t worth getting worked up about.
Another interesting fact is that little green pieces of paper control us and our destiny. Pretty scary, huh? To think that George Washington’s face (or the lack thereof) determines what I can or can’t do and how I can do it. It’s unavoidable. You may think that you can get by without it, but you can’t. Besides, it isn’t fair that some people have to “get by.” Everyone should have a fair slice. Not that I’m a communist (God knows I’m mortally afraid of communism), but beggars need Ferrari’s too. What happens when you run out of money? It’s not like too many people are out there giving money to people who ran out. If there were, there would be a mighty long line, anyway.
What happens is that you live on the street:
“Wasn’t that a comfy doorstep you slept on last night?”
“Why yes, thank you. And yours?”
“The granite gets harder and harder.”
That sucks. The next problem is: what happens when the ozone layer breaks? Then we’ll all have to buy radiation suits. The corporate bastards will keep the prices up on those, I assure you. “Oops, look, his skin fell off; isn’t that a shame. Clean it up, will you? It’s staining my marble floor.”
They don’t care what happens to anybody. Just so long as their pockets get lined, they’re as happy as clams. Money is all that matters to these living suits. They are constantly keeping tabs on their money supply. Someone really ought to shoot them all so that we can start over again. What happened to all of the people that cared about quality and low prices? I guess it sounds too much like a Ford ad for anyone’s taste.