With E.C. Nal

Volume 1, Issue 1, Page 6 (November 1988)

Hello. Now that we’ve been formally introduced, may I begin? Thank you. You see, there’s somethin’ I’ve gotta say. It’s just a thing that needs to be said openly, and I’m willing. Actually, it’s not just one thing, it’s a collection. They’ve been building up in my mind for quite some time now. Taste a few of them here. If you don’t agree, keep shut up. If you do agree, write and let us know.

Bush is going all the way, so don’t even worry about it any more. Don’t you hate it when you start picking apart your cuticles in class and they start to bleed? Then, wouldn’t you know it, no one has any nail clippers handy. Hanes underwear tends to rip right around the seam area. If you hold a lighter under plastic too long, it’ll melt. My brain is melting, but that doesn’t mean that I’m plastic, does it?

God, I’m glad I got that of my system.

While we’re off the subject, I’d like to bring something to your attention: Black Flag. Two very simple words; yet, when used in that particular order, you kinda think of something else. No, it’s not a pesticide. It’s a band. A band that I think is worth checking out if the opportunity arises. They’re just a bunch of guys who are pretty sick of everything, so they sing (well, technically they yell) about it. You won’t hear them on the Top 40 ever. Their better songs include “Wasted,” “Slip It In,” and “Annihilate This Week” – a personal favorite.  It’s about killing yourself to live. Think about that for a while.

Finished? Pleasant. Next on the agenda is mail. Mail is the greatest thing. I like to get it and so do you. Be nice to your mailman. He brings you news of all sorts every day. It’s a tough job, but our mailmen are tough guys.