By Alex P. Laslow

Definitions:

1.) Democrat: one who is a lot like a Republican.
2.) Republican: one who is a lot like a Democrat.
3.) Anarchist: one who is fed up with #1 and #2.

Why does the word “anarchy” offend most Americans? Maybe it’s because this word has suffered the same fate as, say, the word “communism.” Continue reading →

By Alibaster Johnson

My question to you is: why do people take life so seriously?

There’s no way you can possibly make it out alive anyway. It’s pretty ridiculous when you look at it. We all run around in a frenzy, but where are we going? In circles, as far as I can tell. What people don’t seem to realize is that we aren’t the only ones around. There’s a whole universe out there that probably has several different types of life (three of which I think I saw on the street the other day, but I can’t be sure). The point is that we think that what we’re doing is so important, but it isn’t. It doesn’t really matter much at all. Which is why it ought to be taken lightly. Continue reading →

By Brendan Kinney

Things happen in cycles. History tends to repeat itself through these cycles. There’s the ‘up’ cycle and the ‘down” cycle, and the somewhere-in-between cycle.

Nevertheless, life seems to have happened in cycles. There’s the ‘up’ cycle, and the . . . wait. I said this already, didn’t I? Cycles like I said, great things.

So far, the eighties have been a real drag. No one really cares about anything. It’s basically been every being for him/herself. But, if you take a look in a newspaper that talks about news, you see a lot of people that are protesting, demonstrating, picketing, sitting-in.

Continue reading →

By Jamie Hill

Whaddaya get when you mix punk, beer, polka, beer, heavy metal, beer, reggae, beer, classical music, beer, and jazz? One AWESOME live show. Camper Van Beethoven is undeniably one of the better bands on the college/independent/unknown circuit today, and with the release of their fourth album, Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart, CVB has firmly established itself as a major creative force (and bonafide source of utter lunacy). Their uniquely bizarre mix of genres never fails to take an unexpected turn, more often than not in the middle of a song, and their music is always complex without being overstatedly so.

Continue reading →

How Will I Laugh Tomorrow? (When I Can’t Even Smile Today?)

By Brendan Kinney

Some of us remember the songs of yesterday, “Join the Army,” “Possessed To Skate,” “Institutionalized,” and a certain song that opened with a primal scream, “I shot Reeaaagan!” Well, yesterday is now today, and those Suicidal Boys are back, this time they’ve packed a little commercialism with them (in hopes of making themselves more known) and a little more experience that’s come together to produce a great new album.

ST’s new album opens up with “Trip At The Brain,” which displays the talents of lead guitarist Rocky George, with Mike Muir’s rough, gasping voice shouting, “I gotta take a trip, gotta take a trip out of this place, I gotta get away, get away from the human race… “. Only this song isn’t drug-related. “Major trippin’ which you’ll just have to listen to.” Continue reading →

By Brendan Kinney

I bet that you, like myself sat down for one evening of prime time television, and found yourself confronted with a strange change in programming: a presidential debate. So you thought, what the heck, I’ll listen to what these guys want to do for me and my country. But about halfway through the “show,” you sat there wondering what these two guys wanted to do besides “be the President of the United States of America” (with an air of drama). You sat there saying, “Is this a debate, or a name-calling match?” So, disgusted, you turned off the T.V. and stumbled off to bed, confused and worried for America. Continue reading →

By Neanderthal Matt

Yo homes, yeah, I know that sound, but do you? The sound that you savor just like cottage cheese, you know the one? No, not a bullhead catfish. The Grind, yeah the grind. That rippin’ tracker truck grind that makes you want to jump on elephants. Let’s not forget the roots of it all. Yeah, just cause someone can do a hang five down to the ground doesn’t mean that a person who makes shoe lace tips can’t get roots and ride. Yeah, whatever you want, you better know your cans of soup also or be stuck without Campbell’s, okay?

Dude, I know it was sick, you don’t need to tell me, a hang five from rolling stereos. Those urchins know their launch ramp from their hair. I’m not one to swap cows either. I’m just one to know and live for what I ride. (Which is satisfaction, ya know.) Continue reading →